A comprehensive guide to stealing bikes in a socially acceptible way |
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This is a section written and ment for my friends in Leuven, the city where i study, 'cuz they
never have the same bike for more then a week or so ... |
CHAPTER 1 : RULES...Art.1: This is about taking bikes, not tricycles, cars or any other means of transportation. Art.2: The beholder of this document is not authorised to take bikes for fun, joyriding or any other usage while he is still in posession of another specimen. Art.3: Do NOT attempt to obtain another vehicle when under influence of drugs, alcohol or any other psychedelia. You might take your own. Art.4: When target isn't locked or secured in any other way, exeptions on Art.2 are authorised. Art.5: Ignore Art.4 in case someone is riding the bike. Art.6: Do not steal a green bike in front of a white car. Art.7: Art 6 can be expanded to all bikes and to white cars with a red or blue stripes and flickering lights on 'em. |
CHAPTER 2 : HOW TO...Step 1: For this operation you will need an iron bar of approx. 40 cm. Step 2: Optimal circumstances are: a) at night/dark place b) lots of bikes (lots of choice) c) no people around Step 3: Look for a common bike (no bright colours) with a narrow, U-shaped lock on it. Step 4: Take the bar, put it in the lock and turn until it breaks. Step 5: Jump on the bike and get the hell outta there. Step 6: Paint it. |
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